Road To The Cup – 2017 Holiday Edition

Dear Santa,

It’s me again.  I know I sound like a broken record, but I’ve been really good this year, at least in the things that matter.  For starters, to my knowledge, no one from my past has come out of the woodwork to accuse me of anything.  That’s a plus, right?  Sure, you could argue that’s setting a low bar, but I’ll take points where I can.  I mean Dustin Hoffman?  Really?  What is the world coming to?


I’ve continued to be a loyal, doting husband, and that’s got to be worth something?  Truth be told, Christina would kick my ass if I even thought about doing otherwise, and she’s not the only one.  I’m pretty sure a lot of people would line up to set me straight if I ever screwed that up, starting with Rick, who reminds me regularly.  But check that box too.


I guess I’ve been a pretty good dad.  I mean my kids still seem to like me.  They are typically nice to me, especially when they want money, and neither of them has disowned me yet, so I must be doing something right.  Though again, in the spirit of full disclosure, my oldest chose a college 3,000 miles away, but I’m sure that decision had nothing to do with getting away from me.


Most importantly, as you know, I’ve been really generous on the race course.  For starters, I didn’t yell at a PRO once all season (at least out loud), which is pretty good for me.  It’s no secret that I have a hard time keeping my opinions to myself about things like line placement, line bias, pin boats who set up below the line instead of above it, fetches to the weather mark and stuff like that.  Hey, I remember years when, if I thought there was too much line bias, I’d do a wind shot so close to the boat I could touch it, and then say something to the PRO just to make sure they noticed.  Pretty obnoxious, right?  But I’ve mellowed and gotten better about that.  I know they’re all awesome and don’t need to hear it from me.


I’ve also been particularly generous with my fellow competitors, including stuff like letting them steal my holes on the line, ducking boats who didn’t have a prayer of crossing, or letting port tackers in at the weather mark even though I could have cut them in half, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  Heck, in Nationals alone, I gave away more points than I used to give up in a season.  Yep, I found a zillion ways to be generous with my friends this year.


Bottom line, unless you want to ding me for not taking away my 18-year old’s medical marijuana card, or possibly letting him use his fake ID in a bar with me, I’ve been pretty good.


So, a few items on the wish list this year.  Don’t feel obliged to get to all of it, but if you can only do one, please make it the first.


  • I want to see more of my friend Pete.  Please Santa, make sure he comes to the Fleet winter party, which by the way, is at our house on January 6th.


  • While we’re at it, could you see to it that all of my Fleet 5 friends show up – you know, people like Nat Taylor, Matt Hooks and Evan Cooke.  I know they’re kind of the younger crowd but it wouldn’t be a Fleet party without them.  And besides, it’s the least they could do after kicking our asses as much as they do.  Lots of food, open bar – no brainer, right?


  • And while on the subject of the party, could you please arrange for there not to be a blizzard like there was last year.  Also, since January 6th is wildcard weekend, it would be great if you could make sure the Pats get the first-round bye so our party isn’t distracted by an important playoff game.


  • Speaking of football, I know this is super greedy, but another Super Bowl win would be nice.


  • This is a big one.  When you stop by Jim Taylor’s house this year, please drop off something extra special and tell him it’s from me.  He’ll know why.


  • I asked for this last year Santa, but you kind of whiffed on it.  No worries, all good, but please make 2018 the year that the Bloxhams finally make it back to our starting line.


  • It would be awesome if Chris & Debbie Schreiber decided to sail in Fleet 5 next season.  I know it’s a long drive but maybe you could get them helicopter or something.  Please see what you can do there?


  • You may have heard that Jocelyn Cook bought herself a boat and plans to campaign it.  Please make sure everyone helps get her up to speed.  And while you’re thinking about, I think Ann Sousa may now need a new crew.


  • I’m still determined to get Brent & Beth Larlee into a Rhodes 19.  Failing that, maybe you could just convince them to come drink our booze with us.


  • Last year I asked you to bring me some stupid speed, but I guess you must have been fresh out.  If you happen to have any in stock this year, please give it to Jim & Charlie, as it appears they need it more than I do.


  • Speaking of Jim & Charlie, things haven’t been quite the same around here since they flew the coop, and I’d sure like to have them back.  They say that if you love something, let it go, and if it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.  Well, that’s probably a little extreme, but maybe you could just guilt them a little, and remind them that their jilted-ex is still sobbing by the phone.


  • Finally, my friend Elise mentioned that she is running out of excuses.  Could you please drop off a new batch for her.


Thanks Santa.  Have an awesome holiday.  And don’t forget, the party is on January 6th.  -k

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